why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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