I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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