There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
sarcasm needs its own font
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
