i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize