Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
