ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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