I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
