that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
