So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
