Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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