I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
