why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
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id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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