dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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