how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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