is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
