Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
