I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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