if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize