he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
