u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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