I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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