She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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