Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
