break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
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I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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