How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I smell like Dick and happiness
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
