the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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