I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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