No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
