So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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