You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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