Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
