"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
