So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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