He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
