I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
