I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
