Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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