Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
