how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
