Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
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