South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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