but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
