I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
