once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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