Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
