Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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