I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
my liver is dry heaving
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
