He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He better not be in your backpack
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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