Porn is love you can see.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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