This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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