Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
