I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
