He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
