listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
