You made me cry and you don't even care
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
