Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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