remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
