YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
