...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
