She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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