I'm lost and stupid without you.
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
