??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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