You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
