Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize