it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
