i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
